Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Wellspring of Life

Do you ever base your day or life on how you feel? There are mornings as I am sure some of you are dealing with school back in swing, where you are tired and not motivated and ready for the routine. There are days where you feel dry, sad, tired, quiet or just hidden away or wanting to be...

God is teaching me a lot right now, most of which comes as I seek his face! Lessons in faith, lessons in how to believe and training me on the parts of scripture that can be the hardest...believing that it is already DONE! I am great at saying how I want to be closer to God, but what do I do with my free time? I heard a valuable message in my devotional that my husband read to me last night. It said your actions say what your priorities are out loud. It went on to discuss how a workaholic will find time to vacation and spend time with family when they receive a letter from the dr. that says "malignant". A parent that doesn't spend time with their children will find the time when a daughter gets with the wrong crowd to find time for her and seek counseling groups and support systems, spending weeks choosing the right things for her life. So why does it take big things to get our attention and priorities in order?

The basic answer is that it shouldn't. We get caught up in the day to day activities and need to focus on the important opportunities we are given. Our children are with us to learn, copy and understand what life is about. New statistics say majority of parents spend 4 hours watching tv a day but only 6 minutes playing with their children. As I think about it, when I was working full time I always longed for the opportunity to be home, my husband and I finally planned on getting me home to homeschool, but of course we had an agenda before we wanted to do it. Get this fixed, buy a screen door, put this in savings, etc, etc. But as we got paid, we didn't do anything about it...priorities. Why is it that I desired it so much but I didn't act upon it? I knew God wanted me home with my kids! Then he allowed for the big change, I was let go from my job. My pride hurt for almost a year! I had never been let go from a job! But I was home with my children. You know what else? Everything my husband and I wanted to accomplish before I gave my notice happened with unemployment and severance money. But why do we often feel that God picks and chooses when he will bless us? Like giving me the desire but I would be on my own to fulfill it? I longed for Abeka curriculum for my youngest son as that is what I was taught on, but I knew it was expensive...then I met a fellow homeschooler who randomly chose to bless me with almost 3 years worth of curriculum for him that is all Abeka. Does God not provide for the desires of our hearts? I have learned the lesson over and over...Trust in Him!

My youngest son recently has been falling into lying and disobeying constantly. At first I got very upset about why he was doing this and how he knew better. It took a wonderful friend to point out (in love) that he is seeking mom's attention and was looking for it in some way. The point hit home hugely in my heart. My son has been patient all summer while I have revamped things in the house and gardened (he helped some) but it wasn't much one on one time with mom and reading and doing all the things he was so used to throughout the school year. So I changed MY actions to work on his. No movie before bed with the family, we read numerous books snuggled up in my bed, it was a zillion kisses and snuggles and not paying a lot of attention to our adorable puppy and I noticed a difference. Not completely, he still lied twice last night and was disciplined for doing so, but it was a change. But his heart was getting full, he was where he needed to be without saying it.

Our children don't know how to express to us that they simply miss the little things when we get off track. Errands, home decorating, parties and outings are all great, but after a while they long for their routine bedtime, reading books throughout the day and night, knowing what is happening without needing to ask, etc. But part of our routine needs to include showing our children that we prioritize our relationship with them, our spouse and especially Jesus. We pray before meals, but I realized that Kaiden was missing our devotion time which I had let slip through the summer. His prayers were becoming routine and rehearsed and no longer sounding like prayers from his heart. Isn't it amazing how we can teach our children, but often learn the most from them? When we get stuck in a routine don't we sound rehearsed and monotonous?

My goal throughout this school year is to stay consistent with my devotion and praise time with my boys as we homeschool. To thrive on learning and enjoying this world God created so beautifully. To find joy in the smallest things up to the biggest. But especially to let the rivers of life flow through me and while we may maintain a routine, I don't want to become monotonous and praying to God like rehearsing for a play, saying the same things over and over. Give God something to work with and pursue the beauty of a relationship where he wants to know your hearts desires, hurts, quiet places and fill you full in your empty areas.

Much Love!


the wild raspberry said...

best wishes to you on your school year!

Summer said...

Great post and well said! Thank you!


Kasey said...

what a hearfelt post Sarah.
sometimes our kids do things that we think .."how could they"...and then it becomes apparent that they just need attention.
loved this post.