In His Wings

It is with great sorrow that I share the news I received yesterday...
My grandmother of 91 passed away. She was the one person in the world that I was the closest to and it is such a deep loss for me. While I work on rejoicing for her freedom and celebrating her arrival in the kingdom, I deal with great pain inside of knowing I will no longer be able to call her for small talk, prayer or just simply to remind her that although I moved 500 miles away, she was still my closest friend.

I was so blessed to have her in my life and the impact she had on me and my relationship with God. I know it was her prayers that eventually returned me to the path that SHE had been the major one teaching me on my whole life.

Her life as I reflect on it has taught me several lessons:

Can people say you are so amazing that they can have fun just with you and a bucket of chicken? Seriously, she could be so entertaining, joyous, fun and bubble over with the simplest things.

Do you exude love? As the saying goes, a moth to a flame. I look at the various people in my life and my grandma was 91 and not able to really leave the house anymore, getting around was tough on her, yet numerous people dropped by her house often with subs, buckets of chicken and longing to just simply be in her house and be around her. When I thought about that I realized she completely had God's Love down and it attracted people.

Are you flexible? She was so relaxed about things, she never let outward appearance, stigmas, or other things change her. She was amazingly grounded in relaxation and going with the flow and never taking it to heart when things didn't happen that she might have hoped would.

Picking up my shoes, socks, dishes, anything else when I am getting up because it saves time and makes for easier clean up. I still won't leave my shoes laying around or dishes in the living room because I remember her words and how much sense it makes.

Be adventurous! We got her out on a pontoon boat just last summer, it was her first time on one and she said for a year it was the best memory she ever had. She got to see the kids jump out and swim, watch all of us drive the boat, see how we deal with all our kids as parents and more than anything, be a huge part of things since she couldn't get around to places to do things.

I could add so much more but it is still difficult for me as I have waves of sadness. The biggest things I want to share with you is if you feel the urge to do something, it is quite possible that it is God urging you. I prayed for him to prepare me for a year for her death because I knew that I wouldn't deal with it well. Even with a year of dreams, choking up each time she answered the phone and as we said goodbye, I was still not fully prepared, but I can say that God did as I asked and worked on me to think about things, prepare my mind for it. I am so thankful that this summer I just felt the urge to make it a priority to come to KC and spend a full weekend with her. The weekend that worked just happened to be her 91st birthday, we took her to the outdoor sculpture museum in her wheelchair, we bought her jumbo cupcakes from Costco...that I teased her and said it is your 1st and 91st that you get a smashcake and smear it on your face...and she played along surprisingly and did it! Would any of us be willing to get past our looks and smash a cupcake in our face and laugh at ourselves? I thank God for that memory and for the fact that I knew to be obedient. Because in fact, that was the last time I saw her, she didn't make it to my next trip just two months later for Labor Day weekend.

I woke up yesterday with sadness from a dream that my grandma had died and I quickly pushed it out of my head not wanting to feel that pain. It was a few hours later my dad called to let me know that she was gone and he had just come to visit her and found her. We drove to KC yesterday just 3 hours after we found out. It was tough to pack and figure things out, especially with the waves of sadness hitting hard but God provided the time and the grace to be here and help. My dad was an only child as am I, I knew he needed me and thankfully so did my wonderful husband who said "we can't just sit here, we are going!" I am currently in KC planning the visitation and funeral with my dad. Treasure your life, God's comfort and urgency. It can be the best thing you ever do!

Planning, Planning, Planning..

Okay, so we planned things to plant around the house and got that done.
We planned our bedroom and got that done.
We planned our school year at home and that is underway.

Now I get to work on my favorite plan every year...our anniversary!
It isn't until October 26th, but this year I have the itch...
we always go somewhere, usually a B&B about 1-3 hours away for the weekend. This is our main time together as a couple so I refuse to feel guilt about the money we spend simply because I am a deal shopper plus we don't get chances for dates often throughout the year at all! (Is it really a date when someone watches the kids so you can go to dinner and then Christmas shopping for THE KIDS?)

SO, here is my agenda...I begged, pleaded, sold a few of the kids and was able to convince my girlfriend to take 2 kids and 2 dogs for the weekend we want to get away, towards the end of October. Yippee! (By the way, none of the begging and pleading happened, it was all in the beauty of a text message and I got a YES!) I love having a great friend!

My agenda, as hard as it is to focus on teaching when I can't wait to get away with my husband, is to find the place! I am leaning in a few directions...I have always wanted to go somewhere like Cape Cod in the fall, but I also wonder about how cold it will be. Plus, in checking flights it looks like it is a little more than I would like to spend. I am leaning towards Williamsburg, VA, Savannah, GA, maybe somewhere in SC. If you know of some place reasonably priced with great atmosphere, please share!

Who has some gorgeous ideas for late fall of things to do just for the two of us? We typically stay at a nice B&B so we can be served food in the morning, but that isn't necessary, we enjoy getting out to unique shops, having a nice dinner out each night and typically we find a bakery to get naughty calorie stuffed pastries to eat way later than we should in our room! ;)

I would love some ideas! Help me out as I am getting anxious to plan!!!
I would love to say I will meet you if you are in the area, but the truth is that with flying and only having a weekend, I might send you a postcard from town but you know you only have so much time to enjoy a lack of schedule and snuggle time with your husband! ;)

Have a great day!