In His Wings

It is with great sorrow that I share the news I received yesterday...
My grandmother of 91 passed away. She was the one person in the world that I was the closest to and it is such a deep loss for me. While I work on rejoicing for her freedom and celebrating her arrival in the kingdom, I deal with great pain inside of knowing I will no longer be able to call her for small talk, prayer or just simply to remind her that although I moved 500 miles away, she was still my closest friend.

I was so blessed to have her in my life and the impact she had on me and my relationship with God. I know it was her prayers that eventually returned me to the path that SHE had been the major one teaching me on my whole life.

Her life as I reflect on it has taught me several lessons:

Can people say you are so amazing that they can have fun just with you and a bucket of chicken? Seriously, she could be so entertaining, joyous, fun and bubble over with the simplest things.

Do you exude love? As the saying goes, a moth to a flame. I look at the various people in my life and my grandma was 91 and not able to really leave the house anymore, getting around was tough on her, yet numerous people dropped by her house often with subs, buckets of chicken and longing to just simply be in her house and be around her. When I thought about that I realized she completely had God's Love down and it attracted people.

Are you flexible? She was so relaxed about things, she never let outward appearance, stigmas, or other things change her. She was amazingly grounded in relaxation and going with the flow and never taking it to heart when things didn't happen that she might have hoped would.

Picking up my shoes, socks, dishes, anything else when I am getting up because it saves time and makes for easier clean up. I still won't leave my shoes laying around or dishes in the living room because I remember her words and how much sense it makes.

Be adventurous! We got her out on a pontoon boat just last summer, it was her first time on one and she said for a year it was the best memory she ever had. She got to see the kids jump out and swim, watch all of us drive the boat, see how we deal with all our kids as parents and more than anything, be a huge part of things since she couldn't get around to places to do things.

I could add so much more but it is still difficult for me as I have waves of sadness. The biggest things I want to share with you is if you feel the urge to do something, it is quite possible that it is God urging you. I prayed for him to prepare me for a year for her death because I knew that I wouldn't deal with it well. Even with a year of dreams, choking up each time she answered the phone and as we said goodbye, I was still not fully prepared, but I can say that God did as I asked and worked on me to think about things, prepare my mind for it. I am so thankful that this summer I just felt the urge to make it a priority to come to KC and spend a full weekend with her. The weekend that worked just happened to be her 91st birthday, we took her to the outdoor sculpture museum in her wheelchair, we bought her jumbo cupcakes from Costco...that I teased her and said it is your 1st and 91st that you get a smashcake and smear it on your face...and she played along surprisingly and did it! Would any of us be willing to get past our looks and smash a cupcake in our face and laugh at ourselves? I thank God for that memory and for the fact that I knew to be obedient. Because in fact, that was the last time I saw her, she didn't make it to my next trip just two months later for Labor Day weekend.

I woke up yesterday with sadness from a dream that my grandma had died and I quickly pushed it out of my head not wanting to feel that pain. It was a few hours later my dad called to let me know that she was gone and he had just come to visit her and found her. We drove to KC yesterday just 3 hours after we found out. It was tough to pack and figure things out, especially with the waves of sadness hitting hard but God provided the time and the grace to be here and help. My dad was an only child as am I, I knew he needed me and thankfully so did my wonderful husband who said "we can't just sit here, we are going!" I am currently in KC planning the visitation and funeral with my dad. Treasure your life, God's comfort and urgency. It can be the best thing you ever do!

Planning, Planning, Planning..

Okay, so we planned things to plant around the house and got that done.
We planned our bedroom and got that done.
We planned our school year at home and that is underway.

Now I get to work on my favorite plan every year...our anniversary!
It isn't until October 26th, but this year I have the itch...
we always go somewhere, usually a B&B about 1-3 hours away for the weekend. This is our main time together as a couple so I refuse to feel guilt about the money we spend simply because I am a deal shopper plus we don't get chances for dates often throughout the year at all! (Is it really a date when someone watches the kids so you can go to dinner and then Christmas shopping for THE KIDS?)

SO, here is my agenda...I begged, pleaded, sold a few of the kids and was able to convince my girlfriend to take 2 kids and 2 dogs for the weekend we want to get away, towards the end of October. Yippee! (By the way, none of the begging and pleading happened, it was all in the beauty of a text message and I got a YES!) I love having a great friend!

My agenda, as hard as it is to focus on teaching when I can't wait to get away with my husband, is to find the place! I am leaning in a few directions...I have always wanted to go somewhere like Cape Cod in the fall, but I also wonder about how cold it will be. Plus, in checking flights it looks like it is a little more than I would like to spend. I am leaning towards Williamsburg, VA, Savannah, GA, maybe somewhere in SC. If you know of some place reasonably priced with great atmosphere, please share!

Who has some gorgeous ideas for late fall of things to do just for the two of us? We typically stay at a nice B&B so we can be served food in the morning, but that isn't necessary, we enjoy getting out to unique shops, having a nice dinner out each night and typically we find a bakery to get naughty calorie stuffed pastries to eat way later than we should in our room! ;)

I would love some ideas! Help me out as I am getting anxious to plan!!!
I would love to say I will meet you if you are in the area, but the truth is that with flying and only having a weekend, I might send you a postcard from town but you know you only have so much time to enjoy a lack of schedule and snuggle time with your husband! ;)

Have a great day!

The Wellspring of Life

Do you ever base your day or life on how you feel? There are mornings as I am sure some of you are dealing with school back in swing, where you are tired and not motivated and ready for the routine. There are days where you feel dry, sad, tired, quiet or just hidden away or wanting to be...

God is teaching me a lot right now, most of which comes as I seek his face! Lessons in faith, lessons in how to believe and training me on the parts of scripture that can be the hardest...believing that it is already DONE! I am great at saying how I want to be closer to God, but what do I do with my free time? I heard a valuable message in my devotional that my husband read to me last night. It said your actions say what your priorities are out loud. It went on to discuss how a workaholic will find time to vacation and spend time with family when they receive a letter from the dr. that says "malignant". A parent that doesn't spend time with their children will find the time when a daughter gets with the wrong crowd to find time for her and seek counseling groups and support systems, spending weeks choosing the right things for her life. So why does it take big things to get our attention and priorities in order?

The basic answer is that it shouldn't. We get caught up in the day to day activities and need to focus on the important opportunities we are given. Our children are with us to learn, copy and understand what life is about. New statistics say majority of parents spend 4 hours watching tv a day but only 6 minutes playing with their children. As I think about it, when I was working full time I always longed for the opportunity to be home, my husband and I finally planned on getting me home to homeschool, but of course we had an agenda before we wanted to do it. Get this fixed, buy a screen door, put this in savings, etc, etc. But as we got paid, we didn't do anything about it...priorities. Why is it that I desired it so much but I didn't act upon it? I knew God wanted me home with my kids! Then he allowed for the big change, I was let go from my job. My pride hurt for almost a year! I had never been let go from a job! But I was home with my children. You know what else? Everything my husband and I wanted to accomplish before I gave my notice happened with unemployment and severance money. But why do we often feel that God picks and chooses when he will bless us? Like giving me the desire but I would be on my own to fulfill it? I longed for Abeka curriculum for my youngest son as that is what I was taught on, but I knew it was expensive...then I met a fellow homeschooler who randomly chose to bless me with almost 3 years worth of curriculum for him that is all Abeka. Does God not provide for the desires of our hearts? I have learned the lesson over and over...Trust in Him!

My youngest son recently has been falling into lying and disobeying constantly. At first I got very upset about why he was doing this and how he knew better. It took a wonderful friend to point out (in love) that he is seeking mom's attention and was looking for it in some way. The point hit home hugely in my heart. My son has been patient all summer while I have revamped things in the house and gardened (he helped some) but it wasn't much one on one time with mom and reading and doing all the things he was so used to throughout the school year. So I changed MY actions to work on his. No movie before bed with the family, we read numerous books snuggled up in my bed, it was a zillion kisses and snuggles and not paying a lot of attention to our adorable puppy and I noticed a difference. Not completely, he still lied twice last night and was disciplined for doing so, but it was a change. But his heart was getting full, he was where he needed to be without saying it.

Our children don't know how to express to us that they simply miss the little things when we get off track. Errands, home decorating, parties and outings are all great, but after a while they long for their routine bedtime, reading books throughout the day and night, knowing what is happening without needing to ask, etc. But part of our routine needs to include showing our children that we prioritize our relationship with them, our spouse and especially Jesus. We pray before meals, but I realized that Kaiden was missing our devotion time which I had let slip through the summer. His prayers were becoming routine and rehearsed and no longer sounding like prayers from his heart. Isn't it amazing how we can teach our children, but often learn the most from them? When we get stuck in a routine don't we sound rehearsed and monotonous?

My goal throughout this school year is to stay consistent with my devotion and praise time with my boys as we homeschool. To thrive on learning and enjoying this world God created so beautifully. To find joy in the smallest things up to the biggest. But especially to let the rivers of life flow through me and while we may maintain a routine, I don't want to become monotonous and praying to God like rehearsing for a play, saying the same things over and over. Give God something to work with and pursue the beauty of a relationship where he wants to know your hearts desires, hurts, quiet places and fill you full in your empty areas.

Today-Thrive!
Much Love!

And the winner is...

Cheryl-(Decorating Queen)...

Since you don't have an email on your profile I need you to email me your address.

Congratulations on your win!

Thanks for everyone that entered! I am sure I will be having another giveaway as the school year gets underway!

Giveaway Ending...TODAY!

Last day to enter the Girlie Girl Giveaway! Since I have only a few people entered right now your odds are excellent at winning! Make sure to share the info with your friends online!

Leave a comment here.

I will draw a winner using random.org

Good Luck to all who entered! I am excited!
I will email the winner this weekend!

Reflections

What was this summer to me? As it draws near the end I think about the things we could have, should and actually did.

Things I am proud of: staining the fence that needed it badly, remodeling my bedroom to make it a sanctuary for my husband and I to enjoy, painting the hallway finally.
Letting the kids have a summer at home where they found delight in flowers growing, bugs flying around, waterguns, sprinklers and boredom...yes I said that, boredom is good for kids I believe.
Getting up with the kids and making breakfast smoothies most of the summer, taking them to the farmer's market frequently, cooking good and organic food fairly often.
Spending a lot of time with friends and family.
Sleeping in a tent at least 6 times with my husband at various family outings. Getting over my fear of killing plants and trying my best to grow things--it actually worked!

Things I am not so proud of: we only made it out to go swimming about 4 times, not finishing up our library reading log and getting there numerous times every week--my projects kept us too busy at home--buying so many hot dogs on sale my husband felt like he should eat them often for lunch, which I know is horrible for him!

Things you didn't know about: we just bought a new couch for our rec room, another room remodel was done in no time! It made such a difference! Now to paint that room and work on the decor item I just planned out! :) We just got one of those gorgeous puppies I was so giddy about from mid-June-late July. We have had her for over a week, we named her Maggie and she is a delight to our family...even when she trails off with someone's underwear! ;) She has a heart shaped nose and everything!


God also saw fit to teach a lesson in faith. My son's trip to California was amazing...just 24 hours after he had left home I received a call that he had an infection in his knee and needed to come asap. You can't imagine the fear and shock I was dealing with at this point. My husband was driving home from the porcupine mountains backpacking trip with one of our boys and I was alone with our youngest son, Kaiden. I couldn't get ahold of anyone in California with the kids, so I waited for an hour to get a call to hear nothing basically because the signal in the mountains was horrible. So then another 45 minutes later I receive a call from a nurse asking for authorization to treat him, etc. Again, no details. The Scout leader calls me to give me the update, he has an infection from a scrape he received on his knee the previous week on his bike, they are worried about blood poisoning so they want to get him on a flight asap. Can you imagine a mother hearing this 2000 miles away, wanting to charter a plane and get there asap?! I got off the phone to start calling airlines, scouts leaders for booking information, etc. I was on the phone for another 90 minutes trying to work things out and waiting.

The one thing I kept saying and feeling was "I don't see...but I believe". I honestly believed that either something was going to happen and God was protecting Dakota, OR he was going to perform a miracle for many to hear and see. We had come down to the worst case scenario, the nearest flight was at 9pm at night getting him home around midnight, although the leaders wanted him out earlier so they could return to the campsite with the rest of the group (they went to a hospital 90 minutes away). Then I receive the call..."Sarah, here is the update, it is up to you as Dakota is your son (curiousity and slight panic washes over me--does he need his leg removed? what is going on?--) but they checked his knee and the bone thoroughly and they believe that two doses of antibiotics and the infection will disappear. So he can stay, but it is up to you"

GASP! Praise! Gulp! Breathe! WOW! God you are awesome! Where is my voice? I want to cry!
"YES!", I breathed. I was relieved! What a difference from the blood poisoning, get him home and off his feet for 3 days, to he can stay and just needs antibiotics! Yes, God showed he was faithful and taught me indeed how I didn't see, but I could believe and he would come through!

I may have a few regrets, numerous accomplishments but more than anything, I am excited to embark on this next season with enthusiasm, motivation, joy and peace!
How was your summer?
What did you accomplish and what did you put off?
What were your favorite parts?